Postulating The Bus Mom
Some general ranting here in reference to the school bus mom that was bullied and verbally abused by students riding her bus.
I suppose most folks by now have seen the video of the bus mom and her charges. Each will take away something from the video.
IMO, there are a number of things seemingly wrong re the incident:
The bus mom seemed to be operating without any specific instructions as to how to respond to misbehaving kids. It's like she wasn't given any authority to take action.
She showed the kids an adult in 'full intimidation' mode seemingly without the 'fortitude' or 'confidence' to take the kids to task. For an adult to act in such a manner leads to 'shark frenzy' amongst the kids. Kids will test you today and be back tomorrow to up the ante.
Summation: wrong person for the job, even if she was given proper authority/supervision. I suppose the bus driver wasn't allowed to pull over for a time out, 'bus don't move till you improve', etc. One has to wonder if the bus mom had raised kids of her own and why she was so eager to play into the kids 'game' of one upsmanship.
Further: it seems, in this case, that parentlng is a lost, or neverwas art. When children are so ill instructed by their parents as to act out in this manner in public really says a lot about their parents. Where children call people, derogatory names or show disrespect for adults and/or seniors demonstrates a lack of proper parenting/upbringing, etc.
The school system should not be in the business of 'parenting' other than to 'control the situation' and immediately notify the parent. If a kid persists in frequently misbehaving then the school system should refuse admittance until the parent gets the situation rectified.
I never had to go beyond a whack or two with a belt but I would think upping the ante goes like this: In general -
1-2 yrs -Take away a toy, a treat, or put in timeout for a few mins.
2-10 yrs - 'you can't do this' or take away something they like to do on a Saturday, no swimming, going to the park, etc. Introduce kid to a religious environment.
10-13 - keep kid at home, maybe studying. No friends for a couple of days, etc.
1-7 - ante up if necessary by a whack or two on the buttocks with an open hand, a foot long ruler, etc.
8-13 - ante up, if necessary, by a few whacks on the buttocks with a belt or similar.
14-to 85 - if the person can't be reasoned with and your not getting the proper response - if you can't talk some sense into their head - and the misbehaver turns on you to curse, slap, punch, kick you etc you should call the cops for each occurrence.
ante up - show up for social service and the courts, every time until behavior becomes rational or the person does some well deserved time.
Some parents just won't have the skills needed to raise children. In such cases it would helpful if that/those parent(s) had a family or a village to rely on for help. If you can run your child thru a 'vacation bible school' or something similar a couple of times I believe your chances of success in raising a well behaved child will be close to assured.
Children, left to raise themselves are almost assured of running into trouble at some point. For example, if a child watches the evening news 'too much' and sees the dastardly deeds committed by adults on a daily basis some may see no reason to show respect. Children must be 'informed' as to what is good/desirable and what is bad/undesirable behavior and the reasoning behind it, and so on .
And, you knew I would get to this . . . children are much like corporations. They will do what they can get away with. Children need rules and regulations to operate from, a clear and understandable roadmap for getting along in society.
Otherwise - - -
Posted by Roy Ellis at June 21, 2012 10:25 PM
Regarding wrong person for the job; this is a public school system, why would you expect them to have qualified people? Kids are taught every day by people who are not qualified.
Secondly, she would have no authority to do anything, just as the school principals have no option of punishment. The anti-corporal punishment liberals of the past 50 years have taken the teeth away from any school’s ability to correct students. Today, we have off duty cops patrolling the school hallways. Do we need an off duty cop on every bus?
Parents have lost control over their own kids, as a result of Doctor Spock’s advice and books some 50 years ago. What can parents do, when the kids have the option of calling the police and crying child abuse?
Conclusion: what we are seeing today is the result of a nanny state that raises our kids, remember Hillary’s comment, “it takes a village” to raise kids, not a family.
The bright side; an account was set up for this 68 year old woman who would rather work than draw food stamps; as of yesterday $526k was donated to her by the American people. Since conservatives out donate liberals by a large margin; I would suspect the account was set up by a conservative and the donations came from conservatives to support this woman. On the other hand, the liberals will be demanding justice for the kids who did these horrible things.
Now up to something over $600k. That’s pretty amazing. A study in and of itself. Like, who is writing the checks. liberal/conservative or male/female, etc.
Re the statement that ‘she isn’t qualified’, I watched a TV report this AM where she said she didn’t know what to do. I believe the majority of folks would have reacted with ‘one more outburst and I’ll make sure the principle has your name’. Or, I’m going to report each one of you to your parents’.
If she had any authority from the school system she could have pulled the bus over and hailed the cops which, I understand, is done in some school districts.
But, to do nothing is about as sad as the kids actions, IMO.
I generally don’t address issues as liberal or conservative but in this case you may be right, TomT.
I would bet that we will hear some comments from the more liberal folks going toward ‘the kids that acted out are likely abused at home by whippings, slappings and the like’.
I can relate one that helped me grow up.
Fifth grade recess and I was chasing a kid around the playground with an arm full of ice pieces I had broken up. He headed for the school house door, flung it open and darted inside. Just as he cleared the door a teacher lady stepped into the doorway to signal the end of recess. Meanwhile, the piece of ice was in flight, shining brightly on it’s ride in the cold sunlight. And, bang, it found it’s mark squarely on the teacher’s shin and the blood did fly, running down onto her pretty white sock.
Recess was over, and I had no where to go but inside. After about five minutes the teacher called me out into the hallway. She had a paddle made out of a 2-3’ board with holes drilled thru the paddle portion. With each blow my feet near left the floor. And, all the 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th grade classes were saying to each other, ‘ah, that’s the spanker lady giving to that ellis kid for throwing ice during recess’.
I’m pretty sure I matured a lot that day.
Did you go to the same school I did? Our teachers would whack us a good one then call our parents and tell them what happened. Let ya guess the rest.
Any adult that will take that kind kind of behavior from kids sure aint the person for the job.
I can’t speak for most school systems, but I can a sure you that the one I’m in uses corporal punishment. And it’s supported by 90% of the parents. We started using it again 2 years ago and it has made a big difference in the behavior our the kids.
While the teachers can’t spank the kids the principles can, and do. Personally I’d like to see the teachers to be able to give them a whack or two.
Ron Brown, good to know that there are some schools that use traditional disciplinary ‘tools’. But, watch out! There will likely be one or two parents that win big lawsuits and the school system will want to revert to the lowest common denominator re discipline. Like, ‘now Tommy you shouldn’t do that’, etc.
Why are you attacking this woman who makes a measly 15,000 a year for being a bus monitor and claiming she’s the “wrong person for the job”? The job of a bus monitor has to do with only ONE thing: preventing fights and injuries to children on the bus. If there are no children getting hurt while riding on school buses, then bus monitors are doing their job.
The problem in this case is the children — who are bullies. They were disrespectful and hateful toward that elderly woman, and they truly crossed the line the moment they actually started touching her hair and poking at her physically.
All of you who have replied to this article assume that hitting these children is the perfect and only solution. How do you know they aren’t being hit at home? The fact is, you don’t know if they are hit. You have no idea whatsoever what is going on in the homes of those children — but want to claim that hitting them has to be the solution to their bullying behavior. The fact is, bullies are everywhere, and they will prey on anyone if they think they can — and they are often are subjected to bullying, hitting and violence at home.
Hitting bullies isn’t mandatory — but PUNISHMENT for their horrible behavior is. Children who act out as bullies should automatically not be allowed to ride on school buses. And children who are bullies while at school should also be separated out from all the normal, well-behaved children. Bullies need to be put into classes with nothing but strict teachers and other kids who are bullies like themselves — at least until their behavior towards other people shows some measurable and concrete improvement. Where necessary, they should also get the help of a mental health professional who can talk to them about why they feel the need to terrorize other people.
The fact is, kids like this clearly have problems. And if these particular kids weren’t busy bullying the monitor, they would only be victimizing one of the other kids on that bus and/or in their school.
So, let the parents of bullies be the ones who are forced to deal with their children. Let them contend with/rectify their bad or outrageous behavior, and be the ones who must get their kids to school on time everyday until that behavior undergoes a change. Then the bus ride will be pleasant and calm for most of the kids, and low-paid bus monitors won’t have suffer abuse in order to do the job they’re being paid to do.
That kind of isolation is an excellent way to make a serious impact on bullying behaviors — because the bullies need their (mis)behaviors called out very clearly and to become the focus of serious examination. These kids are always the ones picking on others for various reasons, but once they themselves become the ones that everyone acknowledges as being too screwed-up to mix with normal well-behaved children, they are finally forced to start looking their own treatment of other people, and question themselves when it comes their own callousness, cruelty, and hateful anti-social actions.
Adrienne, it’s kind of like being able to chew gum and walk at the same time or, maybe multitasking.
But, let’s assume for a minit, that a kid did punch or strike someone on the bus. One has to wonder how this bus patrol mom would have reacted. It’s my opinion that school regulations in that system would have prevented the bus mom or any other adult from doing anything more than the bus mom did, ‘sit down’ or ‘you shouldn’t be doing that’, etc.
IMO, the incident might have been suppressed with the first kid who acted out by yanking him/her up by their shirt collar and moving them to a seat next to a couple of 6 yr olds, or something like that. An immediate response at the first sign of misbehavior.
In rural areas it becomes easier in that a driver can just pull over and state that ‘this bus don’t move until you are in your seats and quite’, etc. After a few minutes of that the more mature kids will start taking it out on the misbehaving and it would quieten down pretty quick.
Were such action taken by the bus mom she would not be $600k richer and several kids would still be able to ride the bus next year. But, in the end, the kids got a good lesson in how to get along in a civil society. Just was allowed to get way out of hand, IMO.
As to spanking, kids understand the difference between a spanking and abuse such as hitting/slapping, etc. Some adults don’t, IMO.
But, let’s assume for a minit, that a kid did punch or strike someone on the bus. One has to wonder how this bus patrol mom would have reacted.
It’s the job of bus monitors to get between children who begin fighting and break it up — but that is not what was happening. It was obvious that she chose not overreact to their poking at her physically, even though it was naturally upsetting to her. It is also the job of a bus monitor to do things such as perform CPR, deal with children who have sudden seizures, or asthma attacks, etc. and to call for an ambulance if any child is hurt or in danger.
It’s my opinion that school regulations in that system would have prevented the bus mom or any other adult from doing anything more than the bus mom did, ‘sit down’ or ‘you shouldn’t be doing that’, etc.
I get the impression that the regulations for bus monitors are pretty much as the same that school teachers function under daily. Namely, that they are not allowed to touch the children at all unless they are harming someone, or yielding something while verbally threatening to harm another child, or themselves.
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