Third Party & Independents Archives

The Top Ten Reasons We Should Assassinate Pat Robertson

I see where Pat Robertson is at it again.

Well, much like Swift’s solution to Irish overcrowding, I have an idea about how we can prevent any future outbreaks of his obviously chronic case of “foot-in-mouth” disease:

The Top Ten Reasons We Should Assassinate Pat Robertson

10 - It'll show the world the true meaning of Christianity.

9 - Unlike Hugo Chavez, he wasn't elected to anything.

8 - It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war against the Christian Coalition, and I don't think any religious services will stop.

7 - It will prove that "pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the ACLU, and the People for the American Way" weren't responsible for 9/11.

6 - Who does Chavez think he is anyway, Salvador Allende?

5 - His TV show can change its name to The 699 Club.

4 - It will help to resurrect the careers of Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart.

3 - We should take out everybody whose first name is "Marion".

2 - He'll never run for President again.

1 - Cheaper Venezuelan oil!

Posted by Chuck Hanrahan at August 23, 2005 2:51 PM