October 29, 2004
Bush Blamed for Lunar Eclipse
October 28, 2004 — John F. Kerry today blamed President Bush for allowing the lunar eclipse to occur last night. After spending the first fifteen minutes of his speech in Boston today celebrating the Red Sox win in the World Series, Senator Kerry launched into an attack on President Bush for failing to do anything about the terror created by the lunar eclipse.
"He knew the eclipse was coming but he failed to do anything about it," said Kerry. "People were frightened when the moon disappeared, there was terror in the streets. This is another example of the president's costly mistakes in the war on terror."
Sources provided the New York Times and CBS news with a copy of the 'Farmer's Almanac' that clearly states when the eclipse was to occur giving the precise date and time. CBS planned to run the story on a special Monday edition of 60 Minutes this coming November 1st, but the New York Times accidentally ran the story first, along with a story about a John F. Kerry win in the Tuesday elections that was mistakenly added to the wrong edition.
"We had the system set to publish the edition early next week but we were getting frustrated trying to finish the crossword puzzle and mistakenly sent the newspaper to print instead of proofreading." said George Santos, a night shift operator at the Times. "We were just glad we didn't send off the edition with the winner of the Superbowl as well, that would have really got us in hot water with Las Vegas."
"John Kerry doesn't know all of the facts", responded Bush "he's just attacking me with anything he reads in the newspapers. This is why I don't read newspapers, it prevents me from acting too quickly before someone can tell me what to think first. You can't have a commander in chief that jumps to conclusions without knowing the facts. What's next, blaming me for the hurricanes in Florida?"
Later in the day, Kerry attacked Bush for the hurricanes in Florida earlier this year saying "He knew that they were coming, we could see them days in advance on our satellite systems, and did nothing to stop their approach. It's his policies, by not supporting the Kyoto treaty, that resulted in their forming and even though we had sophisticated tracking technology and the greatest scientific minds in the world, he just let let them tear up the US and then lied about it to the American people. This president is incompetent to hold his job."
Polls showed that roughly 3% of the registered voters paid attention to anything said by either candidate during the month of October, the new fall season was on and it appears that the writing for the stars of this season's reality shows are better than anything either candidate's speech writers can come up with. A survey in Vanity Fair shows that the only 2 television shows with worse writing than the candidates' speeches were The West Wing and Joey.
Posted by Rhinehold at October 29, 2004 12:35 AMSometimes it gets to a point where all you can do is laugh, don’t you think?
Posted by: Rhinehold at October 29, 2004 12:46 AMRhinehold,
In a time not long ago the masses my of believed you. Thank God most of us has got past that point. But thanks for the laugh. We can only pray that Kerry will not allow the neo-democrats to lead him like the neo-republicans have led Bush.
btw, have you guys seen Bush’s latest, fake “Whatever it takes” ad? This was taken from his website. I didn’t know Bush suddenly reversed his policy on human cloning, but I guess he’ll do whatever it takes.
ooohhhh…they get so fiesty when their screw-ups are pointed out….
great eye on that ad….ahhhh the magic of photoshop…
Posted by: rob at October 29, 2004 04:19 AMRhinehold:
Nice job of exposing the utter silliness of things. Well done.
DH:
I’ve heard about that ad. They removed a podium from the picture digitally, which also created spaces in the picture that were filled in using Photoshop techniques.
The bottom line: Bush WAS speaking to a crowd, like he often does. The boy WAS there listening. The boy WAS waving a flag. The ad does NOT misrepresent the speech, the crowd, nor the intent of the pictures.
Seems to me you are searching for something to complain about. I dont see what evil you must apparently think is lurking behind this. Perhaps you can share with me what you think is so nefarious?
I don’t think that photo retouching is such a big deal anyway. It’s actually completely innocent if you ask me. It’s about as much of a reflection of the candidate’s dishonestly as, say, throwing “ribbons” instead of “medals”, or “not inhaling”, or being the inspiration for “Love Story”.
Which is to say that this kind of media focus on trivial “gotcha” inconsistencies within campaigns is what we Democrats have had to endure for years, and that I’m grinning with glee to see the Bush administration finally getting likewise hammered by the media for such a silly thing.
-Cf
Posted by: Christopher Fahey at October 29, 2004 08:41 AMPointing out a photo touch up is about as petty as my pointing out that Kerry looks like he is doing a chicken dance when he puts both fists up and struts across the stage trying to look like a winner or that he can’t actually wear a baseball cap because he might mess up his doo.
Think those 2 things will change any votes?
If we all think about it, we can look back and find all sorts of things that make them both look goofy.
Christ on a crutch! Pictures! That opens up a whole new realm of possibilities… Sorry, George. :)
The ad does NOT misrepresent the speech, the crowd, nor the intent of the pictures.
Except that it does. The event didn’t happen the way it’s portrayed in the video.
Why was it important to remove the podium? Someone felt it didn’t convey the message they were trying to get across, so they “enhanced reality”. Just like Preident Bush made the case for invading Iraq “clearer than the truth”.
some soldier was probably giving him the finger, so they cropped him out.
Its a misuse of the U.S. troops anyway.
Putting them in the picture, which only the president could do, to make it look like the whole Army is on his side, they have no choice he’s the president.
Vote for Bush, i got an army,
Bush’s campaign photoshops the truth from more than just pictures…….
“OHHHH…that 380 tonnes of explosives…..”
“There over at Dick Cheney’s house…”
AP:
Listen, if this is the depth that you reach in your assessment of presidential candidates, then so be it. I’ll take the higher road and look at more than silly lil pictures. I’m gonna have to imagine that a key factor in your ‘research” is how Bush looks in a flight suit, or whether he had a bulge on his back during the debates.
While you are fiddling with such important things, I’ll be checking the economy, the social issues, energy issues etc….yknow, the “non” important stuff.
Posted by: joebagodonuts at October 29, 2004 01:01 PMHaha! jbod, you brought it up. I was just commenting on your obviously incorrect statement. :)
When I post issue articles over on the blue side, I never see you there. If you want to talk economy, social issues, energy issues, or anything else, let’s go. If you want to play Bush apologist, I’m up for that, too, my little prickly pear.
Lunar eclipse? Why not, they’re blaming him for hurricanes:
Florida Billboards Blame Bush for Hurricanes
Posted by: eric simonson at October 29, 2004 01:27 PMAP:
My posts don’t have pretty little pictures in them; this might explain why you haven’t seen them. I currently have several posts on the blue side that you must have missed.
I’ve actually even engaged you directly in a number of threads, but again, only facts and opinions—-no pictures—-so perhaps you went right on by them…lol
Posted by: joebagodonuts at October 29, 2004 01:39 PMOh jeesh, I added that part to the satire, mostly because I was suprised that it hadn’t been done before, it is keeping with the tactics of the left for the past year and a half. Actually, I’ve been calling it the ‘legacy of Gore’, the results of his challenging the election results in Florida. It proves to me that Nixon was right about 1 thing…
Posted by: Rhinehold at October 29, 2004 02:02 PMjoebagodonuts and American Pundit. You are both taking the conversation to the personal against each other instead of critiquing the content of the political debate here or the article.
It is very important that neither of you devolve further from our Critique the Message, Not the Messenger policy.
Posted by: WatchBlog Manager at October 29, 2004 02:08 PMThe eclipse was a sign from God. Everyone knows that!! Boston wins and GW’s time is up!
I’m guessing that photo is how he plans to stabilize Iraq without reinstating the draft. He going to the time honored cardboard cut out soldiers to guard important sites.
Posted by: Greg at October 29, 2004 02:11 PMRhinehold, thank you for this immensely enjoyable few moments of levity. Well done. My wife and daughter read it too and laughed for about 10 minutes reading the article and all the comments. Much appreciated.
Posted by: David R. Remer at October 30, 2004 06:52 AMRhinehold, thanks for the laugh! Welcome relief in these tense days. But you forgot the most egregious of all Bush’s environmental wrongdoings.
The leaves turning brown and orange and falling off the trees!
Even the late night TV pointed that one out!
Thanks again!
Rhinehold,
P.T. Barnum underestimated the gulibility of the American public.
If Bush hasn’t been behind this stuff, then someone explain to me why he’s so defensive. “I don’t think that witchcraft is a religion,” he once said. Pretty testy. Although to be fair, Bush’s long-time close allies (since his governor days) like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell blame natural disasters on homosexuality, so why not eclipses? They also blamed 9/11 on homosexuality. They blame increases in crime on homosexuality. But homosexuality isn’t the only cause of disasters. Weird people like Hindus and Buddhists also contribute, as do court justices who make rulings based on a broad philosophy of tolerance. If Bush did indeed use witchcraft to cause the eclipse, as most of the available evidence (see above) suggests, look for a possible falling out between him and Jerry Falwell. Falwell also believes the anti-Christ may be walking among us, and if so “of course” he’s Jewish, according to Falwell. Certainly the anti-Christ could cause an eclipse. Or maybe it’s just Jesus appearing for the rapture, blocking out the sun? If so, He must not have been too pleased, because He didn’t take anyone with Him. (Maybe next time, Jer.)
On the flip side of Kerry blaming Bush for the lunar eclipse, I also want to point out the parallel story that you may not have caught — Bush taking credit for the sun rising and setting, and threatening that it will no longer rise and set if Kerry is elected.
>The ad does NOT misrepresent the speech, the
>crowd, nor the intent of the pictures.
The center focal point of the photo has been ‘shopped out. What are you talking about?
>Seems to me you are searching for something to
>complain about.
Just for image reasons alone, doctoring crowds in photos ought to be avoided in most cases, since it reminds people of Nazi and Stalinist propaganda. I’m not making the connection, but you know people love to make the connection. Michael Moore = Joseph Goebbels. Etc.
>Listen, if this is the depth that you reach in
>your assessment of presidential candidates, then
>so be it. I’ll take the higher road and look at
>more than silly lil pictures…While you are
>fiddling with such important things, I’ll be
>checking the economy, the social issues, energy
>issues etc….yknow, the “non” important stuff.
The economy: worst jobs record since Herbert Hoover during the Great Depression era
Social issues: millions have lost health care
Energy issues: so married to the conventional oil industry that he can’t bring himself to promote the truly fresh ideas we need to pursue
That IS indeed the important stuff. And it all favors Kerry.
One Republican strategist said people like Bush because they like the way he walks and points. So if you’re voting for Bush, you can feel good about it.
I’ll add another reason to vote for him: Bushisms. We will all miss his perpetual dyslexic moronicism.
that’s the stupidest thing ive ever layed eyes on ur article is obviously all lies but they aren’t even funny…plus the real retard is bush so “UHHHHHH” dont cry when kerry wins the election
Posted by: toooooo at November 2, 2004 07:21 PM
