How Sweet It Will Be

Clearly, protecting Florida sugar barons and their reclaimed swamp land from the evils of competition is a must for any Florida politician serious about fundraising, and therefore getting elected. But fundraising’s sweet tooth goes way beyond sugar-producing lands in FLA; from beet sugar co-op’s in Minnesota to Colorado’s beet lobby having had a key say in America’s foreign policy decisions regarding Cuba in the years following the Spanish-American War, sugar has been spooned in the by railcar-full to ensure subsidy-sweetened protectionist policies stay in place and raise the cost of food products for consumers across the country. No surprise then that Marco Rubio has a sweet tooth and that key fundraisers from the sugar industry have helped his campaign get a jolt of energy.

Perhaps Rubio's reliance on sugar cash has to do with healthcare. Think about it; if barriers were lowered and Hummer dealerships failed in Florida as Brazilian sugar came pouring in, America would double up on the sweets and the health costs would be overwhelming. Dentists would have to turn away wailing kids with cavities in order to take some vacation time to spend their accumulated profits. So keeping Brazilian sugar at bay, or far from any bay that has access to a container facility, is clearly a must. But there is another problem, and it's Obama's fault. And yet, Obama can fix it. Never mind that Cuba is still a communist state with no liberty of expression, movement, or any real economic freedom to speak of. Barak Obama just needs to line up the Florida sugar lobby and it's other allies and get down Havana way real quick. After a dinner and show with lots of mojitos and dancers, they can work out a deal with the Castro's and their underlings on how much to pay for Cuba's sugar industry. And then we can have a Cuban-American Sugar Lobby. The Mother of All Lobbies of the America's. And little by little all political, judicial, ethical, and other objections to cozying up to Cuba will dissolve away, like a spoonful or three of sugar in a steaming hot colada in a cuban coffee shop near calle Ocho in Miami. Let sugar bridge the waters between Cuba and Key West and let its sickly sweet corrosive effects spread far and wide across governments and national boundaries. Why some day we might have an FSAA, or Free Sugar Area of the America's. As long as it's owned by Florida sugar barons. So relax Marco, you're on the right track undoubtedly. Maybe you even have a trip or two planned to Cuba some time soon. Along with every other senator, governor and lobbyist who can get a flight booked in time. How sweet it will be.

Posted by Keeley at April 14, 2015 8:00 PM
Comment #391203

Keeley, Thanks for the laugh; however, I don’t think you are being cynical enough for Florida.

Posted by: Mike in Tampa at April 15, 2015 3:29 PM
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