Lighten up

I read another in the endless studies about how women do more work. I also read studies that show the SINGLE women spend more time on errands and housework than single men. This one cannot be men’s fault. There is a gender difference here in how much individuals think needs to be done and how. This is a problem even for many women in leadership roles. They try to control too many of the variables and the unknowns and end up doing (and making other do) a lot of work that doesn’t need to be done. Men are more laid back (women call it lazy.) When I put on socks that almost match, it infuriates Chrissy when I tell her that I have another pair exactly like them in the dresser. She seems vaguely unhappy that I only buy clothes that don’t need ironing , hence never iron. Maybe men need to pitch in more, but women need to lighten up. We all need to lighten up.

Everybody seems aggrieved. You read about "microagressions." These are things so small that even the perperator might not know he (usually he) had done them. Of course, even using a phrase like "lighten up" can be interpreted by the pinheads as racist, which is why I used it, BTW. If anybody is offended, I am pleased.

I often find myself quoting Macbeth, the line, "It is a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Microagressions are certainly like that. So are many of the things PC folks go nuts about.

So are many of the food crazes. Gluten-free? Give up sugar? No Coca-Cola? Not likely Okay, I will bet I am more robust than 95% of those clean eating organic types.

We used to have the reasonable man hypothesis. It didn't mean you agreed or even that is was right, but it was a reasonable thing to do. If a hornet stings you while you are driving, it is reasonable that you swerve your car. If you then hit a dog, too bad.

We should make reasonable judgements. Zero tolerance is almost always dumb. We need to be reasonable. I read re a problem that windmill kill some birds. A reasonable question is what kind and how many. It might be not a bad trade.

Anyway, we need to lighten up. We need to take insult less seriously and make more compromised even when we have "rights." Let me repeat again, if I have offended anybody with my posting, I don't care. Nobody likes cry babies, even if they are too afraid to tell you.

Posted by Christine & John at June 25, 2014 2:14 PM
Comments
Comment #379908

“I also read studies that show the SINGLE women spend more time on errands and housework than single men. This one cannot be men’s fault.”

And this is why that single woman will get married to a single man if he is lucky. Who would want to marry someone that doesn’t help with housework or the work it takes to live a day to day existence in a home whether they are a man or a woman.

I am not aggrieved. I do ask that people not post offensive comments. While I might be offended by some of your comments you do not make it offensive (there is a difference). Others on this blog are still learning the etiquette of commenting in a civilized manner that makes political discussion interesting.

I agree lightening up would be a good thing to see more of.

Posted by: Speak4all at June 25, 2014 2:54 PM
Comment #379909

Maybe if I provide examples it might help me to be better understood. Consider the following two different replies to my comment above:

To bad Speak4all, if you can’t handle the heat stay out of the kitchen is what I say.
(While I might find that comment offends me it is not offensive).

That’s a typical liberal thought Speak4all. Why don’t you just bugger off and go collect your welfare check.
(That comment is offensive and does not add to the political discussion).

Posted by: Speak4all at June 25, 2014 4:08 PM
Comment #379910

Speaks

In my work I have worked away from Chrissy. We talk every day. She is always busy with chores etc. I am always having an easy time. Women often do things to too great a detail.

The thing that annoys me is the constant barrage of these kinds of studies that show what people already know but refuse to draw the obvious conclusion that many of the “old ideas” were/are based on actual gender tendencies.

This is not a bad thing. We have yin and yang. Both are necessary. My leadership style is complimented by many of the women who work for/with me. One of my best partnerships was with a “detail” and cautious women. I would make big plans that she was afraid to make. But she would hold back and keep us sane. We realized that she just was too risk averse and I was too reckless, but between the two of us we were just right.

Consider kids. The mother is nurturing. When the kid reaches for a hot object, she tries to explain the meaning of hot. The father knows once he touches it he will better understand the concept. We need both those lines of thought.

I think the inability to lighten up is a big problem for women’s advancement. Women never feel prepared. They obsess. Then they are annoyed when a man comes along and scoops up the prizes. They say (often correctly) that he was not as ready. But they miss the point.

My sister disliked playing Monopoly with me because I won most of the time. The game has lots of random chance, so why? It was risk. She would carefully build her properties in an even way. I threw everything into my best chances and won about 90% of the time. When I lost, I lost big and fast, but I lost much less often than I won.

Re offense - I would never tell anybody to leave a discussion. The only regular here I never much liked was a poster called “Aldous” who was just plain stupid. I was glad when he left.

Posted by: CJ at June 25, 2014 4:39 PM
Comment #379911

I agree with your statement somewhat Speaks, If a women is lucky enough to find a man who has a good paying job that the wife NOT work outside the home then that is her job, outside of heavy yard work or taking out the trash. I would agreed that on occasions the man help with some of the everyday chores.

Posted by: Rich KAPitan at June 25, 2014 4:43 PM
Comment #379912

While I can appreciate your reference to yin and yang it is not quite that simple. The equation of yin to yang and the reverse is the most appropriate for this discussion and not just the existence of each, as I see it. Too much yin can be just as destructive as too much yang however in most cases the abundance of yin can cause the most damage and in our everyday life there is most usually an abundance of yin. It is the relationship of yang to yin and the reverse that is the most important to attain balance.

Most men are considered to be the yang and most women are considered to be the yin, although that is not a rule of thumb to be used by all. Too much yang in a relationship can lead to problems as much as too much yin. The working relationship you described seem to offer a balance of yin and yang that produced favorable results. This is not always the case and can be very difficult to attain but if attained can be productive.

KAP
I agree in any marriage each of the participants must have the feeling of being lucky to have the other. I do know women who enjoy yard work (even heavy) but not many like the trash thing (not exactly sure why but I don’t go there in discussions with my wife, it’s easier that way).

Posted by: Speak4all at June 25, 2014 5:15 PM
Comment #379913

Speaks, my wife doesn’t mind the trash thing but the yard work was a no no, not even light yard work.

Posted by: Rich KAPitan at June 25, 2014 5:56 PM
Comment #379914

Women have a certain patience that is from nurturing children and nest building. Men have a coarseness that is from killing things to eat. I think kissing comes from the woman chewing the food and putting it in the child’s mouth when they are too young to chew for themselves.

It’s human nature. Men and women aren’t supposed to be the same. If it is frustrating for some, then it is simply misunderstood.

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Posted by: skyjkrt at June 26, 2014 10:36 AM
Comment #380211

This is a steroetype, women are just as nasty as I am or worse. I know so many sloppy women—aw’ hell. This is a baloney course of study…. women’s houses you can’t even walk into. Virtual packrats living on Fritos in an apartment with two stinky indoor cats and a pitbull that gets into everything. I lived with a woman who had pet fleas rummaging throughout the house. Women are nasty.

Women can be slobs, I know plenty. She keeps a certain area neat and the rest is an overwhelming pig stye fit with kitty litter and boxes. It just looks neater in like one area she’s particular about.

Again this is a stereotype, where did you get this s***?

Posted by: simpleheaded at June 26, 2014 12:47 PM
Comment #380212

I lost a thousand dollar sofa to a woman’s freakin’ dog—women are nasty. Women with pets are gross. Kitty litter scattered all over the bathroom floor crunchin’ between your toes. Showering with the smell of cat poo in your nostrils. Her insistance that it doesn’t smell hideous. Things are packed into corners like we are living in a freakin’ U-haul! Women can be gross. Especially when she has no taste outside her collection of dreamcatchers and eagle nicknacks—women are farting boogers with pets.

Man if it weren’t for occasional a** I could do without the mess of a woman. Hmmmm, am I getting old?

Posted by: simpleheaded at June 26, 2014 1:01 PM
Comment #380214

Oh and if you clean something she can’t find anything. You must have done it wrong.

Now women do putter when they get home from work but that is to rearrange things so the whole house looks crazy for the next 48 hours, not really cleaning anything really—Don’t get me started.

Throw anything away?—ha! Nooooooo, only loose papers and only half of those. There is so much sh** to move with a woman—You an’ Chrissy sound cute. Best o’ luck.

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