You are consistent thing in all your bad relationships

Demanding people accept you all the time just makes you an asshole. A better course is to try to figure out how you can be pleasant or useful and invite people to accept you for those reasons. You really cannot expect people to like you when you get in their faces with your “personality.” I hate unpleasant people like that and I try to avoid them.

I was in Paris a while back. People say the French are snobs and that they dislike Americans. This was not my experience. Most of the French were polite and pleasant. But I did notice them disrespecting some of my fellow Americans and I have to say that it was the fault of those Americans, who were loud and poorly dressed.

I didn't like them either and sad that some Americans could be that way. When you go into a nice restaurant, you don't want to be sitting near some fat slob wearing a T-shirt that says "I'm with Stupid" and demanding catchup to put on his food. I don't blame the locals for looking down on these guys. I do too. THEY should adapt. If you go to Paris buy a nice jacket and try to say a few words in French. If a few people don't like you, it is probably their problem; if lots of people don't like you, it is your fault.

One of my co-workers bought some land in rural Virginia. He sold it a few years later because his neighbors were so hostile to him he couldn't enjoy the property. I own three parcels of land in rural Virginia. My neighbors are delightful people. They help me and watch my property. The difference? My co-worker wanted to impose his values. He banned hunting on his land, for example, and made a special point of lecturing the local guys on their retrograde redneck lifestyles. I am surprised he got out of there alive. I went down and met my neighbors, asked their advice on things and encouraged the local hunt clubs to continue hunting. In fact, they do a really good job of keeping the local varmint population down. They maintain the roads and plant wildlife patches, all for free. We have a good relationship and we all get something we want.

I have the "right" to do what I want on my land. It is much smarter to "ask permission" of people who already have some interests and to bring them into partnerships. This goes for most things. We should rarely demand everything we can get. Rather, invite people to be partners and you will usually get a lot more than you have the right to expect.

People who demand all their rights all the time are assholes too. We should all try to avoid being assholes.

There is one right that I exercise, however. I have the right not to associate with assholes and I do indeed exercise that right. If the assholes think I am narrow minded or judgmental, they are probably right by their own standards.

If nobody likes you, it is your fault and you should change your behavior. But if everybody likes you, you are doing something wrong too. I am content if the assholes dislike me. I would feel bad if they didn't.

Posted by Christine & John at June 9, 2013 8:26 AM
Comments
Comment #367159

I had the same exact experience at the Cafe Le Zimmer down by the river. They sat us next to two U.S. couples on vacation, and I almost asked to be re-seated.

You are a guest. Speak your foreign language softly and learn a few key native phrases ( Puis-je avoir works wonders in Paris). I had the entire wait staff come over once when I used the vous déranger.

Posted by: George in SC at June 9, 2013 1:05 PM
Comment #367160

Jack,

A few months ago we had a short discussion about the difference between arrogance and confidence. I have thought about the differences and have come to a few conclusions;

A confident man sees the world as it is and makes changes when, and where he can.
An arrogant man sees the world as he wants it and will accept no alternative.

A confident man can accept when he is wrong, and can be proven otherwise.
An arrogant man is always right even when the facts prove him otherwise.

A confident man communicates.
An arrogant man denigrates.

A confident man treads lightly.
An arrogant man is a bull in a china shop.

A confident man treats others as he wants to be treated.
An arrogant man is a bully who will be insulting in order to get his way.

A confident man is always willing to work with others.
An arrogant man always believes others work with him.

Confidence is a virtue.
Arrogance is a flaw.

Rocky

Posted by: Rocky Marks at June 9, 2013 1:19 PM
Comment #367173

Rocky Marks has given a great reason for accepting the Democratic Party as the party of arrogance.

Posted by: Pastor Mike at June 9, 2013 9:21 PM
Comment #367181

Could someone please explain to me why the discussions in the Conservative/Republican column are on such lame subjects as “bad relationships”, “the menace of getting too much for free”, or “what does racism mean”; when we are watching the collapse of Obama’s presidency? If you can’t research and come up with a subject that pertains to currents political events, why are you writing on the blog. Isn’t this site supposed to be about political discussion?

It’s for darn sure the liberals aren’t going to talk about the daily scandals that are coming out of the Obama administration. So why aren’t we? Let me present some topics:

“Sales of Orwell’s ’1984′ up 69 percent on Amazon list”

“DOUG SCHOEN, DEMOCRATIC POLLSTER (@ 1:10): “Let’s be clear, Gregg, this is an administration and a presidency that is in crisis. You have three huge issues — you have the NSA issue that broke this week, the phone records; you have three scandals with the IRS; the Justice Department; you also have an agenda that basically is dead in the water. This is a presidency that is effectively at a tipping point and I believe that the approval rating is much more likely to go down, perhaps down substantially, than to go up.”

“Rand Paul On NSA Spying: “I’m Going To Challenge This At The Supreme Court”

“Obama scandals take toll on Ed Markey’s bid for Massachusetts Senate seat”

Or perhaps liberal Bob Beckel’s latest comment, “The Obama/NSA violation of the 4th Amendment is as close to a totalitarian government as the US has ever seen.”

Can’t you tell by the lack of comments that we need topics that are up to date? Or perhaps we have liberals and RINO’s who are trying to protect Obama and his shenanigans.

Posted by: Frank at June 10, 2013 5:10 PM
Comment #367184

You have made a good point Frank. I have been wondering the same thing. Each day a new scandal comes to light that makes the previous scandal inconsequential. What about this latest whistleblower, whom Obama has vowed to apprehend; by the way, did we ever find out who leaked Obama’s greatest victory of killing Bin Laden?

“Edward Snowden, the self-revealed whistle-blower at the National Security Agency, explains that part of the reason he decided to come forward was because President Obama did not roll back the surveillance measures put into place by the Bush Administration.

“A lot of people in 2008 voted for Obama. I did not vote for him. I voted for a third party,” Snowden said in an interview with the Guardian. “But I believed in Obama’s promises. I was going to disclose it [but waited because of his election]. He continued with the policies of his predecessor.”

Snowden acknowledged that he watched Obama struggle as he attempted to justify the surveillance programs during his press conference on Friday.

“My immediate reaction was he was having difficulty in defending it himself,” Snowden said about Obama. “He was trying to defend the unjustifiable and he knew it.”

http://washingtonexaminer.com/edward-snowden-i-mistakenly-believed-in-obamas-promises/article/2531439

So, is this guy wrong or right in telling the American people that their 4th Amendment rights are being violated?

Posted by: CasperWY at June 10, 2013 5:36 PM
Comment #367185

Frank

I have never been very good at the partisan attack. During the Bush time, I defended my president and my country against what I felt were misguided attacks and lack of patriotism and I could be passionate about that. In all fairness, while I don’t support Obama politically I believe that some of the attacks made on him are also misguided. I don’t believe, for example, that the NSA and Libya are truly things we can legitimately lay at the president’s feet, so I cannot write about them the way you might want.

The other problem I have now is that Barack Obama is my president. My instinct is to cut my president some slack, and I cannot bring myself to a full throated attack as I did in defense of George Bush.

Re the collapse of the Obama presidency - that would bring me no job if OUR president collapses. It would not be good for the country and would usher in only a period of bitter partisan warfare. My preference is that Obama moves toward the center. Failing that, I would prefer that he hobble to the end of his term, but a collapse is not something I would advocate or even hope for.

In the case of the NSA, I happen to support the president, as I did president Bush.

I apologize that I cannot give you the partisan fire you want. I am not a RINO because I am not Republican. I am a moderate conservative, mostly because I believe in free markets and not the social stuff.

I wish someone else would write a few articles for the column and I could be a supporting player. Please help if you can. I will make this response into a post and after that put up a post that allows all of you to add comments about whatever you want.

Posted by: CJ at June 10, 2013 5:45 PM
Comment #367186

U.S. President Barack Obama gives the commencement address to the graduating class of The Ohio State University at Ohio Stadium on May 5, 2013 in Columbus, Ohio.

PRESIDENT OBAMA: “Unfortunately, you’ve grown up hearing voices that incessantly warn of government as nothing more than some separate, sinister entity that’s at the root of all our problems. Some of these same voices also do their best to gum up the works. They’ll warn that tyranny always lurking just around the corner. You should reject these voices. Because what they suggest is that our brave, and creative, and unique experiment in self-rule is somehow just a sham with which we can’t be trusted.”

Oh yes….shame on those Americans who do not trust the Government:

“The Internet and phone surveillance scandals hitting the news have catalyzed a growing schism between the American public and the U.S. government. According to a new Rasmussen poll, only 30% of Americans trust the government to use the Constitution as a guide for surveillance issues, while 52% of respondents do not.

When asked whether they believed Barack Obama when he said the government was not listening to their phone calls, 68% of those polled said that it was at least somewhat likely that Obama was not telling the truth. Even a majority of Democrats, 58%, believe that the Obama Administration is listening to private conversations, and only 49% of them trust the government’s efforts to stay within legal boundaries.

In another poll by Rasmussen, only 26% of voters approve of the government’s secret surveillance; 59% are against it. Almost half of voters, 46%, believe that they have been spied on by the government.”

http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2013/06/10/Rasmussen-Only-30-Of-Americans-Trust-The-Government-Over-Surveillance

Posted by: CasperWY at June 10, 2013 5:59 PM
Comment #367187

C&J, I did not support many of the things Bush did, and I certainly do not support the things Obama does. I was against the Patriot Act then and I’m still against it. The problem with government is, give them an inch and they take a mile. The increased sale of the book “1984” is because some Americans are seeing the government as leading us to a totalitarian state. It is a fact that the IRS used information, not only to discriminate against conservative groups, but also to allow information to be leaked to the enemies of conservatism; i.e. Romney’s tax records. Now, we are supposed to believe Obama’s claim that we have nothing to fear concerning the governments collection of millions of gigabytes of information about America’s phone calls, emails, or texts. I don’t for one minute buy this lie. I took the same oath as you and many other Americans, to protect and defend the Constitution. Obama may be the president of the US, but the Constitution is bigger than Obama. He has not shown me at all, that he even believes the Constitution, let alone defends it. Our founding fathers set up a system which would protect this great nation from tyranny; they knew there would be people who would try to destroy America. Obama is not a solution; he is the problem. Remember, your oath was to protect and defend the Constitution, not a dictator/king.

Posted by: Frank at June 10, 2013 6:17 PM
Comment #367190

Frank

I think Obama is basically not competent to be president. The country is mostly on autopilot punctuated by Obama trying to make political hay by attacking conservatives. That is one reason I am prepared to believe that he is not lying when he says he knows nothing about the IRS scandal or others.

Our country would have been a lot better off if Romney had been elected. I am certain of this. But the question is, “what do we do now?”

We have to live with Obama for another four years. Replacing him is not possible. I think that Obama’s liberal agenda is stalled. We will see ObamaCare play out and it will be bad for our country, but that horse has left the barn and we cannot close the door now.

So we have a time of troubles ahead, but that is baked in.

How does it help to attack the president. He won’t cannot run again and his power is slipping away.

The bigger threat is that Nancy Pelosi returns as speaker of the House. If this happens we are screwed. Presidents have a certain institutional immunity. Opponents must be very careful. If the president can provoke emotional attacks and absorb them, the Pelosi minions can slip below the radar. In fact, if I was Obama I would hope to have attacks on me.

Conservatives should not overreach. The IRS scandal is a big deal. Investigations should continue. It looks like these attacks may have influenced the elections of 2012 and perhaps helped Obama win. But speculations can get ahead of facts and ruin the show.

Remember the Clinton scandals? I am convinced that the Clinton people planted extreme rumors or at least were happy to hear them. Then when the real stuff came out, which was bad, they could say, “well you said he did it ten times and it turns out it was only five” and it sounded better.

Returning to my problem, I am just not competent at much of this partisan writing. I live in South America. I cannot get Fox News here and I spend much of my media time reading local publications. I cannot provide the detail required and unlike some of our liberal colleagues, I don’t like to just make things up. That is why I say again, I wish some other people would take on some of the writing.

Posted by: CJ at June 10, 2013 7:22 PM
Comment #367217

C&J responded in the previous post, Comment #367185:

“Frank
I have never been very good at the partisan attack. During the Bush time, I defended my president and my country against what I felt were misguided attacks and lack of patriotism and I could be passionate about that. In all fairness, while I don’t support Obama politically I believe that some of the attacks made on him are also misguided. I don’t believe, for example, that the NSA and Libya are truly things we can legitimately lay at the president’s feet, so I cannot write about them the way you might want.”

C&J, we live in a world of partisanship; in fact Obama has made our country even more partisan. If you are not willing to stand for something, then you will fall for anything. Regarding any of the scandals, the buck stops at Obama’s desk. The people working in the NSA, DOJ, or IRS work for Obama. They were appointed by him or hired by him; he don’t get a pass. Who do we blame when a corporation fails? Do we not hold the CEO responsible?

“The other problem I have now is that Barack Obama is my president. My instinct is to cut my president some slack, and I cannot bring myself to a full throated attack as I did in defense of George Bush.”

Why? What slack was cut for Bush? Conservatives blamed Bush for some of his failed policies, not just the left. But you defend Obama, siding with the left; taking all responsibility out of the hands of Obama.

“Re the collapse of the Obama presidency - that would bring me no job if OUR president collapses. It would not be good for the country and would usher in only a period of bitter partisan warfare. My preference is that Obama moves toward the center. Failing that, I would prefer that he hobble to the end of his term, but a collapse is not something I would advocate or even hope for.”

When I speak of the collapse of the Obama presidency, I am not referring to impeachment or removal from office; I am talking about a man who has ruined his presidency, or made it of no effect. Rush Limbaugh was ostracized for his comment, “I hope Obama fails”; but Rush had the foresight to see the direction Obama was taking America. Rush was correct. The scandals that have come to light and are being revealed each day; America has a president who warned of a transforming change and had it not been for whistleblowers who have revealed this transformation, it is untelling where we would be.

“In the case of the NSA, I happen to support the president, as I did president Bush.”

As others have said, if you give the government an inch, they will take a mile. The founding fathers warned us against an over reaching government and I would ask you, at what point in the history of America has the government ever relinquished power? We have seen the IRS and the DOJ abuse their power by targeting certain Americans, and you believe they can be trusted with unlimited access to our most private information and we have nothing to fear??? Give me a break; you have nothing to back this up.

“I am not a RINO because I am not Republican. I am a moderate conservative, mostly because I believe in free markets and not the social stuff.”

The definition of a RINO is a Moderate Republican.

Tell me C&J, what if you are wrong about Obama? What if Obama is America’s greatest fear? What if we voted in a man who is sympathetic to our enemies? What if he is systematically dismantling our freedoms and our republic? Its fine to support a president, but a president is nothing more than a man, subject to the frailties of men; but our Constitution is a document written by men of unquestionable moral character. Men who put their lives and fortunes on the line who wrote a document based upon Judeo-Christian principles. Obama is the complete opposite; he cares about nothing but himself, he is a habitual liar, he is a member of the party of personal fortune, and he sat under the mentorship of questionable people. The Rev. Wright being the most popular, who is a racist and a Muslim sympathizer.

What did Jefferson have to say about the support of the man rather than the ideal:

“Let him say what the government is, if it be not a tyranny, which the men of our choice have conferred on our President, and the President of our choice has assented to, and accepted over the friendly strangers to whom the mild spirit of our country and its laws have pledged hospitality and protection: that the men of our choice have more respected the bare suspicions of the President, than the solid right of innocence, the claims of justification, the sacred force of truth, and the forms and substance of law and justice. In questions of power, then, let no more be heard of confidence in man, but bind him down from mischief by the chains of the Constitution.”

–Thomas Jefferson, The Kentucky Resolutions, art. 8, Oct., 1798.

Not everyone I fooled by Obama:

“Harry C. Alford, co-founder and president/CEO of the National Black Chamber of Commerce, created a national sensation during a February 25 interview (see video below) in which he accused President Barack Obama of acting like former Soviet dictator Josef Stalin and said the president’s executive orders are “tyrannical” and a violation of the Constitution. Moreover, he added, Obama’s economic policies are “borderline communist.” The video went viral after being posted on a number of sites on March 1.

Alford expanded on those remarks in subsequent interviews, including an interview on March 4 with Andrea Tantaros of Fox News and pjmedia.com (see video below), in which he charged that President Obama “wants government in everything and anything.”

“He made a fool out of me — and a lot of other people.”
Alford said he now regrets supporting Obama’s presidential bid in 2008. He allowed himself to be swept up with the candidate’s rhetoric of hope, the media hype, and racial solidarity. “He made a fool out of me — and a lot of other people,” says Alford.

http://www.thenewamerican.com/usnews/politics/item/14700-black-business-leader-obama-tyrannical-borderline-communist

Posted by: Frank at June 11, 2013 3:54 PM
Comment #368287


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