Democrats & Liberals Archives

The Establishment vs The Base, A Football Analogy

In the game of American politics, there are two teams. The Red Republicans and the Blue Democrats. The players on the field are the politicians and candidates for office, the establishment is represented by the coaching staff on each sideline, and the base is represented by the fans in the stadium. Today, we’ll visualize a football game to put into perspective the looney left’s reaction to Tim Kaine’s announcement as Hillary Clinton’s vice presidential pick, and why the fringe base must always and forever be contained and prevented from having any meaningful say in the nomination process.

Before the season started, a quarterback controversy ensued. The fans wanted a true freshman named Bernie Sanders to be the starter, but after seeing the development and comparison in practice all summer, the coaching staff decided that a fifth-year senior named Hillary Clinton was the best quarterback on the depth chart. Naturally the fans took to the internet to voice their discontent, even going so far as to boo the starter before the first play of the game.

Once the fans calmed down after Clinton was named the starting quarterback, the controversy quickly ensued to who would be the starting running back. The fans wanted another true freshman named Julian Castro to start, despite the fact that he'd never played a down of football before. In fact, he's the team's equipment manager. When the coaches dismissed that idea, the fans immediately began screaming for a redshirt freshman named Elizabeth Warren to be named the starting running back. She had some speed, but a lack of general talent.

Instead, the coaches named Tim Kaine, another fifth-year senior as the starter, as he had speed, vision, strength, and agility, much to the fans' dismay. But they did it for a reason, as the same sort of thing had happened to the red team a few years ago, and with it came disaster.

The Republicans had been reeling after being blown off the field by the Democrats led by Barack Obama in 2008. What they did was convince the team's general manager, a guy named Reince Priebus, to fire the coaches and replace them with coaches who would let the fans choose the players. After being defeated by Obama again in 2012, they picked a new fan-favorite: Donald Trump. Trump had never played football before, and had a tendency of throwing the ball at his opponents' heads than to his receivers downfield. This is why the Republicans have kept going three-and-out every possession since Trump became the starter.

The Democratic coaching staff feared the same fate if the base were successful in making Sanders the starter, so they infuriated the fans by starting Clinton and Kaine. Many of the most hardcore fans threatened to stop buying tickets, and some decided to start watching their local Arena Football team, the Green Greens, play the Yellow Libertarians at their local civic center. Most of these fans soon realized that this wasn't the same, and it didn't have the intended effect, as the seats they'd vacated in the stadium were quickly filled by other people who had been waiting to get tickets.

The Republicans had their pregame pep rally last week in Cleveland, and it turned out to be a major dumpster fire, in which the backup quarterback refused to say he'd root for his own team from the sideline. The Democrats will have their pregame pep rally this week in Philadelphia, and currently, several Sanders fans are planning to make quite a stink-literally-during Clinton's pep talk before the crowd.

Now that the starting lineup has been set, the fans on both sides are anxious for kickoff. The players will play, the game will go on, and only one team can win. The rest of the story is yet to be written.

Posted by TreyL at July 23, 2016 6:23 PM
Comment #406308

The only apt part of this analogy is that, now, a presidential candidate has to have fans to be taken seriously, instead of having any substance or experience.

Posted by: ohrealy at July 25, 2016 10:52 AM
Comment #423271

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