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Republicans for Kerry Top Ten

Republicans shouldn’t vote for Kerry just because Bush is the most incompetent and evil president in the history of the United States. They should vote for Kerry because it will be great for Republicans.

The top ten reasons Republicans should vote for Kerry are:


  • 10. The Republican Congress will amazingly discover the "Kerry" deficit.
  • 9. Its getting pretty hard to still blame Clinton for everything.
  • 8. Congress is looking pretty lame with no investigations of the Executive branch; a Kerry administration will make the Republican Congress look relevant again. Just think about all those hearings on "Was it medals or ribbons?"
  • 7. With inflation on the rise another "Carter" in the Whitehouse would really fit the scapegoat bill.
  • 6. The fun in Iraq is really starting to wind down. A Kerry administration would allow the Republicans to either blame him for not following Bush's winning course, or take credit if we pull it out and end up with a Iraqi democracy.
  • 5. The red ink in Washington is so bad that even Republicans can't really want to make those tax cuts permanent. The threat of a Kerry veto is just the excuse Republicans need to become deficit hawks again. And letís not forget about that "Kerry" deficit.
  • 4. It turns out that the Texas education miracle started before Bush when more money brought smaller class sizes and full day kindergarten. Imagine that, throwing money at the problem really can work (even in areas besides the Defense Department). But now all those Republican state legislatures are complaining about the mandates Bush championed and then unfunded. A Kerry administration might be just the ticket to raise the banner of getting the Federal government out of State run education.
  • 3. What do all those Republican voters like to do with their guns (besides shoot intruders)? They like to hunt! They like to hunt in the wide open outdoors and with lots of healthy animals to shoot and lots of clean air to breath. And then they like to go fishing in clean water and eat fish that isn't contaminated with Mercury. And they have been doing this a lot; since they don't have jobs, and they have noticed that all the deregulation Bush has been pushing has been hurting their environment, but not enriching their checking accounts. Give the control of the environment back to someone who cares, and then you can scare your voters into thinking that the Liberals are going to take their guns away.
  • 2. Speaking of Republican voters; they love our Military and they prefer it strong and ready. Not run down and spread so thin that soldiers are being removed from their posts apposite North Korea (who has Nuclear Weapons) to face a potential abyss in Iraq (where there are no Nuclear Weapons). A Kerry administration could do handy things like kill Star Wars and free up billions of dollars to rebuild our Army.

And the number one reason why Republicans should vote for Kerry? I think I'll leave that one open for comments.

Oh yeah, did I meantion the "Kerry" deficit?

Posted by Al Maline at May 29, 2004 2:28 AM