Democrats & Liberals Archives

Dennis Miller

I have no problem with Dennis Miller being a Republican. I don’t even have a problem with him opening for G.W. Bush.

But over the weekend he made a joke about Howard Dean that really set me on edge. He claimed he couldn’t support Dean because of “the tattoo of Neville Chamberlain on his forearm.”

Why am I upset? It’s not that Miller made a joke about Dean. It’s not that he called Dean an appeaser, virtually a traitor.

The problem is, the joke wasn’t funny. Dennis Miller committed a crime against comedy.

For starters someone needs to tell Dennis the Menace that Neville Chamberlain went to Munich 65 years ago. The median age of death in this country is 74. Do some math -- most of us don't get the reference.

In fact, we're nearly as far removed from Neville Chamberlain at Munich as Chamberlain was, at that time, from the Battle of Gettysburg. Bob Hope (that era's Dennis Miller) would have known not to hit a 1938 audience with his George McClellen material -- no matter how much Alf Landon liked it.

It's not like you can't make good jokes about Howard Dean, even mean, cruel, vicious jokes about Howard Dean. I gave myself about 10 minutes, and came up with these:

Dean isn't from Vermont. He was born in New York to a family of rich investment bankers. But in the 60s he went through a rebellious period. He finally decided to go as far away from the world of money and politics as he possibly could. Now, that explains why he's a Democrat, but what's with Vermont?

Vermont has had a run-in with Presidential politics before. President Calvin Coolidge was from Vermont. It balances out, a President who wouldn't speak and a candidate who won't shut up.

Ben Cohen of Ben & Jerry's has decided not to endorse Howard Dean, but there is good news. The cast of the old "Bob Newhart" show, the one set in Vermont, are set to endorse him. Larry and Daryl are on board, but Daryl is still mad about Dean breaking up with Torvill.

We're not into making jokes about family members, but Dean's son Paul did a Daffy thing, driving the getaway car while his buddies raided a local country club for its liquor supply. A few days later (true story) Dean was asked about his Democratic rivals and said, "they don't like me breaking into their country club." Really. Dizzy Dean.

Dean is a very lucky man. He married a nice Jewish girl. Not just any nice Jewish girl, a doctor. Probably explains his economic plan. He told her that if we raise taxes high enough the country will make a profit, then we declare a dividend and (here's the good part) it's tax free.

Here's an unusual fact. Vermont was actually a sovereign nation, for 14 years. That's five years longer than Texas. It turns out Vermont's founding fathers were revolting against New York, of all things. Figures, someone had a crystal ball with Howard Dean's face on it.

Time. That's 10 minutes, actually 9:35. Those aren't great jokes, but any one of them is better than Dennis Miller's Chamberlain bit.

Dennis, time to get a new party. The one you're in is no fun.

Posted by Danablankenhorn at June 30, 2003 6:06 PM